Saturday, July 9, 2011

She spoke of ships and sailors

Pēdējā dienā, kad man vēl bija 20 gadi, mēs ar meitenēm, kam arī ir dvīņi un kuras man ļoti patīk, gājām pa jūras malas promenādi. Man bija mazliet jūrniektēmas drēbes, un visa pastaigas sajūta jūnijīga, gan jau arī saules dēļ. Pirmo reizi pavasarī ēdu saldējumu - dubulto ar kopā saaugušām vafelēm, par dvīni arī. Mēs gribējām aiziet līdz vietai, kur mēdz tikt redzēti delfīni, bet pārāk nogurām. Pasēdējām uz soliņa, pavērojām kuģus, un pašķīrāmies.
Es gāju caur ostas industriālo rajonu, un viņš bija diezgan tukšs, dzeltens no saules un ar bērnības piesitienu. Un uz vienas ielas sajūta pilnībā saslēdzās ar kādu sen sapņotu un piemirstu sapni, nu tiešām, sajūta, kā nonākot tajā sapnī, vai arī sapnim iedzīvinoties, un tad bija tāds ilgs miers, kurš nepārtrūkst, kamēr esi tur un nekas nemainās. Kādu laiciņu tur stāvēju, staigāju pa apmalītēm, garām pa laikam brauca mašīnas, un man patīk mašīnas, viņas tādu patīkamu dinamismu ienes nekustīgās vietās.

Vienu citu reizi, pirms vairākiem gadiem, es gāju gar veco sākumskolu, bija novembra vidus, un nebija saules, un nebija lietus. Tikko bija beigušās stundas, un no skolas bariņš viegli klaigājošu bērnu ieslīdēja tuvējā veikaliņā, lai iepirktu čipsīšus, krāsainas strēmeles, kas skābi sprakšķ uz mēles, un vēl citas graužamas lietiņas. Daži bira no veikala ārā un starp peļķēm tiesāja iepirkto ēdmaņu. (Mirsti, ēdmaņa, mirsti! Nu labi nē.) Es stāvēju uz ielas pie ūķīgā veikaliņa, grauzu ābolu, neatcerējos ne ielu, ne veikaliņu, un sapratu, ka tas brīdis ir kādreiz agrāk noticis vienā sapnī, kur bija tētis, nebija bērnu, bet visādi citādi tāpat. Bija starp nekustīgumu un griešanos karuselī, tāds abu apvienojums, un tas, ka tie bērni apkārt.
Citu reizi gāju grām tai pašai vietai, veikaliņš bija slēgts, stundas nebija tikko beigušās, un tas galīgi vairs nebija mans sapnis.

^^^^^
On the last day when I was still 20 years old, I and girls who own their very personal twins as well, and which I like very much, took the seaside walk. I was sporting a little sailor-themed outfit, and the whole feeling was very June, at least partly because of the sun. It was the first time I ate ice cream in the spring - double one, for my twin too. We wanted to reach the place where dolphins had been seen, but we were too tired. We were sitting on a bench at the harbour, watching ships, and then we left.
I went through  the harbour's industrial district, which was pretty empty, yellow for the sun and with a touch of childhood. On one street the feeling fully blended with a dream, which I had long ago; it really felt like getting in that dream, or that dream coming real, and then there was a long time of peace, which doesn't rupture until you're there and nothing changes. I was standing there for a while, I was walking on the curbs, from time to time cars passed by. And I like cars, they bring such a nice dynamism in static places.

Another time, a few years ago, I was walking past my previous primary school. It was mid-November, there was no sun, and there was no rain. The classes had just finished, and a clutch of  slightly noisy school kids sneaked into the corner shop to buy some crisps, coloured candies that taste sour in the mouth, and other snacks and sweet treats. Some of the kids came out of the shop and didn't linger to taste their grub. (Die, food, die! Ok, not really.) I was standing on the street in the front of the tiny shop, crunching my apple, didn't recall neither the street, nor the corner shop, and realised, that this moment had happened before in one dream, where there was my dad and no kids, but otherwise it was the same. It was in between of the mix of stillness and carousel spinning, and then the children around.
Later I was passing that place, the shop was closed, classes had not just finished, and this wasn't my dream anymore. 

  
ostas rajons /// harbour district
    
Mechanic
saulains, silts un nekas nenotiek /// warm, sunny and nothing happens
  video
otrs sapnis /// the other dream
rokā ir ābols /// apple in the hand
bērns nr.1 un bērna nr.2 kājas /// kid nr.1 and the legs of the kid nr.2
bērns nr. 3 /// kid nr.3
bērns nr.4 /// kid nr.4
re kur jūra /// sea, see?
gandrīz visās bildēs mati ir priekšā sejām /// in almost every picture faces are covered by hair
rindā pēc saldējuma /// queuing for ice cream
maģiskais pieskāriens /// the magic touch
viņām ir dvīņi, bet ne tikai tas /// they have twins, but there are other reasons to like them
prieks par kuģi /// joy about a ship
apmierinātība par kuģi /// contenment about a ship

* "She spoke of ships and sailors" - Evelyn Evelyn "Sandy Fishnets"

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