Joki par blondīnēm /// Blonde jokes

Mamma manam dvīnim teica, ka es esot kļuvusi itin blonda un lokaina. Mans personīgais dvīnis man to pavēstīja, kad es biju pastāstījusi joku par blondīnēm. Divas blondīnes apspriežas par kvantu fiziku. Tad viena saka otrai: "Re kur nāk veči! Sākam runāt par drēbēm un kosmētiku!"

Ja mani mati patiešām ir drusku pabalojuši, to varēs pamanīt, kad es sākšu izlikties, ka drēbītes mani interesē daudz vairāk par kvantu mehāniku, metafiziku un zinātnes filozofiju.

Es atceros vēl divus jokus par blondīnēm.

Kā sauc blondīni ar smadzenēm? - Retrīvers. (Džeikobs no Krēslas šito stāstīja Rozālijai no Krēslas, jo viņa bija blonda un viņam viņa pārāk nepatika.) Tā, protams, nav.

Otrs. Ja blondīne ieslēdz labo pagrieziena rādītāju, tas nenozīmē, ka viņa brauks pa kreisi; viņa var braukt arī taisni. Šis diemžēl ir diezgan patiess, un attiecas ne tikai uz blondīnēm, uz rudmatēm un brunetēm arī.

P.S. Runājot par mašīnām, sākot braukt ar mašīnu, jums nelikās, paskatoties priekšējā spogulītī uz aizmugurē esošo mašīnu, ka tā ir britu mašīna ar labajā pusē sēdošu vadītāju? Un visa pilsēta pēkšņi pārbāzta ar britu vāģīšiem.

^^^^^

Mom told my very own twin that I have become quite blonde and curly. My personal twin told it me when I had told her a joke about blondes. Two blondes are discussing Quantum physics. Then one of them tells to the other: "Guys are coming! We have to switch to clothes and make-up!"

If my hair has bleached out a bit indeed, you will notice it when I will start to pretend that dresses interest me way more than Quantum mechanics, Metaphysics and Philosophy of Science.

I remember two more blonde jokes.

How do you call a blonde with brain? - A retriever. (Jacob from Twilight told this to Rosalie from Twilight, since she was blonde and he didn't really like her that much.) But this is not true, of course.

If a blonde has switched on the right winking light, it doesn't mean she will turn left; she can drive straight as well. This unfortunately is true, and refers not only to blondes, to redheads and brunettes too.

P.S. Talking about cars, when you started to drive a car, and looked in the front mirror to have a look on the car just behind you, didn't you think it's Brittish car with driver sitting on the right? And all the town was suddenly crowded with Brittish cars.

Negribas pasaules galu /// I don't want the end of the world

1) abi ir lieli augļu kūku fani
2) garšīgi mango ir ļoti garšīgi
3) pietrūks savvaļas koku
4) man patīk, ka vīrieši apsēžoties atpogā žaketei pogu un pieceļoties aizpogā
5) cerams, ka kaijas neēd zaķu bēbīšus
6) the ladies want marshmallows

^^^^^
1) both of them are big fans of fruit cakes
2) delicious mangos are very delicious
3) i'll miss wild trees
4) i like that men unbutton their jackets when sitting down,  and button them up when standing up
5) i hope seagulls don't eat hare babies
6) the ladies want marshmallows

Ar zvēriņiem ir viegli uzpirkt

 Kas zvērīgs ar mani atgadījās pēdējās dienās:
1) redzēju lapsiņu;
2) redzēju zaķīšus;
3) redzēju briedīšus.

^^^^^
What animal-like has happened to me during the past days:
1) saw a fox;
2) saw hares;
3) saw deers.

1) uzzīmē zivi;
    ^^^^^
    draw a fish;

saldūdens zivs /// freshwater fish

2) uzzīmē suni;
    ^^^^^
    draw a dog;

brālis /// brother

brālis /// brother

3) uzzīmē valzirgu;
    ^^^^^
    draw a walrus;

4) uzzīmē zvēru pēc tavas izvēles;
    ^^^^^
    draw an animal of your choice;

lapsiņa /// fox

5) uzzīmē vali.
    ^^^^^
   draw a whale.

spokvalis /// ghost-whale

ļauns valis /// evil whale

valis /// whale

Dzīvnieciņi uz mani skatās /// Animals are looking at me

Vispār jau mana specialitāte ir zvēriņu paparazzi, graudaina piezūmošana un izplūdušas kustības, kas lien laukā no kadra, taču kādā izbraucienā ar riteni caur maziem, izstieptiem ciematiem, gar vienu pili uz vēl vienu pili, atklājās, ka esmu sasniegusi jauni pakāpi - zvēriņu portreti. Dzīvnieki labprāt šad tad iepozēja, izlikās, ka uz mani skatās (vismaz radīja tādu izlūziju) un dažreiz tiešām arī vēroja. Es pa ceļam satiku zirdziņus, govis un telēnus, poniju un zirgu, tad ezi, kurš spirinājās spainī, jo mazais rakaris bija iemaldījies dārzā un viņu nesa uz parku, stirniņu (uz šo skatu nobirdināju aizkustinājuma asariņas), aitas un divus pāvus. Ejot pa taciņu uz rozā pili, pretī nāca mazi bērni ar brūni nokrāsotām sejām, un viens no viņiem teica citiem:  "She's probably a teenager." Droši vien visi tēloja kaut kādus zvērus, jo bija Lieldienas.

Un šodien man bija lielisks acu kontakts ar tumši brūnu pūdeļu bēbīti, kurš naski rikšoja un turēja mutē tenisa bumbiņu

^^^^^

Actually my specialty is animal paparazzi, grainy zooming and  smudgy moves that sneak out of the frame, but during a bike trip through tiny, outstretched villages, past one castle to another, it came out that I have reached a new level - animal portraits. The animals gladly posed for pictures from time to time, pretended to look at me (at least they created an illusion) and sometimes they were watching me for real. On my way I met horses, cows and calves, a pony and a horse, then a hedgehog who was kicking in a pail, as the little rascal had been wandered into a garden and was carried to the park, a roe (I shed a few tears of happiness), sheep and two peacocks. And walking down the path to a pink castle little children were coming back form the castle with their faces coloured brown. One of them said to the others: "She's probably a teenager." I guess they have been dressing up as animals, as it was Easter.

And today I had a great eye-contact with a dark brown poodle baby, who was briskly running with tennis ball in his mouth.

idilliska pastorāle ^^^^^ idyllic pastoral

double portrait

Skotijas retumi uzskata mani par diezgan interesantu ^^^^^ Scotland's rarities find me pretty interesting

vairāk ne ^^^^^ not anymore

atkal esmu interesanta ^^^^^ I'm interesting again

skaistuma iemiesojums ^^^^^ absolute beauty

mazs zirdziņš un zirdziņš ^^^^^ little horse and horse

ļoti labs modelis ^^^^^ a very good model

aitas, kas uzvedas kā gājputni ^^^^^ sheep behaving like birds of passage

divi ^^^^^ two

viens ^^^^^ one

neviens ^^^^^ none

she probably is

dubultbritiski ^^^^^ double Brittish

rojāli un dzīvnieciski ^^^^^ royal and animal

Pasūtījuma darbs /// Commissioned work

1.
uzzīmē jauku ēku.

^^^^^
draw a nice building.

2.
uzzīmē lakoniska dizaina strūklaku.

^^^^^
draw a laconic design fountain.

3.
uzzīmē nelielu ainavu.

^^^^^
draw a small landscape.

vasara ^^^^^ summer

rudens ^^^^^ autumn

Dzert kafiju /// To drink coffee

Man ļoti patīk dzert kafiju. Un man labi sanāk. Galīgi nav daudz lietu, kas man tik labi sanāktu. Un reizēm sanāk īpaši izcili, Glāsgovā kaut ka tā tiešām talantīgi bija. Pirmo reizi pavasarī sēdēju ārā, pie viena no maziem metāla galdiņiem, un pie blakus galdiņa trīs onkuļi katrs dzēra savu kafiju. Oficiants jautāja, vai es gribu arī pelnu trauku, un es arī gribēju. Pelnutrauks bija tikpat metālisks kā citi trauki un galds, un, kad es iedzēru malciņu kafijas, saule spīdēja tieši virsū. Vispār jau visu laiku spīdēja virsū. Drusku sagribējās, lai man būtu arī cigaretes, ne tikai pelnu trauks, taču brīža izcilums no tā nemazinājās. Un Glāzgova ir ļoti forša, tur bija tik daudz jauku lietiņu, ka nevarētu būt pārmēru neforši, un rozā un smaržīgs padara jūsmīgu jebkurā gadījumā.

^^^^^

I like to drink coffee a lot. And I'm good at that. There are not that many things I'm that good at actually. And sometimes it can be particularly outstanding, in Glasgow it was somehow really in a talented manner. For the first time in the spring I was siting outside, at a small metal table, and at the table next to me three gents were drinking their coffees. The waiter asked, whether I wanted an ashtray, and I did. The ashtray was as metallic as the cup and the table, and when I took a sip of coffee, the sun was shining on me. Actually it was shining all time. An I wished a bit that I had cigarettes too, not only an ashtray, however it didn't lessen the perfection of that moment. And Glasgow is awesome, and there were so many nice things, that it couldn't be overly pitiful anyway, and pink and nice-smelling makes delighted in any case.

kafija, krējums un pelnutrauks ///coffee, cream and ash tray

mmmmmmmmm

prasmīgu fermeru sieri /// artisan farmhouse cheeses

                     

Man ir diezgan jauna istaba /// I've got a pretty new room

Tā viņa lielākoties izskatās. Tā ir apmēram puse istabas, bet otra puse izskatās sliktāk, tāpēc es bildītes nelikšu. Vispār viss, kas ir mans, izskatās labi, un viss, kas jau bija, nepavisam neizskatās labi. Ja redzat tur kādu tīri glītu lietiņu, tad ziniet, ka tā šajā istabā ieviesās drīz pēc manis.

Taču tā jau vispār man te tīri labi patīk dzīvoties. Visjaukākie ir gaiši rīti, kad var šķirstīt grāmatas ar bildēm, pēcpusdienas ar sauli, kura spīd iekšā, un gulšņāšanu gultā, un pavēli vakari, kuros ar sakrustotām kājām sēdēt gultā un skatīties "Annu no "Zaļajiem jumtiem" vai kādu ļoti stilīgu seriālu, vai klausīties šo un to. Var arī mācīties.

^^^^^

That's how it usually looks like. This is around half of the room, the other half looks worse though, therefore I won't put the pictures of it. Overall all that is mine looks good and all that was here before me does not look good. If you see something pretty, then bear in mind it arrived in my room soon after I did.

Still I do like to live there pretty much. The most nicest are light mornings when one can leaf through a book with pictures, afternoons with the sun that shines into the room and idling in the bed, and in quite late evenings to sit cross-legged in the bed and watch "Anne of Green Gables" or a very stylish TV series, or to listen to this and that. And one can study too.

                                                           sienas rotas
                                                           ^^^^^
                                                           frills

                                          man labāk patīk tumša koka mēbeles
                                          ^^^^^
                                          I like dark wooden furniture better

                                            Dēlis, kas domāts bildēm.
                                            ^^^^^
                                            A special wall meant for pictures.

                                               Viņas piestāv viena otrai.
                                               ^^^^^
                                               They look good together.

                                                          atkal
                                                          ^^^^^
                                                          and again

                                                                gulta
                                                                ^^^^^
                                                                bed

                           

Krūzes. Bija vēl viena, bet viņa saplīsa arī bez dārgā kaķīša palīdzības. Šis dzīvoklis ir piemērota vide trauku plīšanai. Bet tas drusku labi, jo viņa nebija tik glīta kā šīs, un es nevarētu izdomāt, bildēt vai ne, un man nebūtu viņai sāpīgi jāatsaka.

^^^^^

Mugs. I used to have another one but I broke it even without the help of my beloved cat. This flat  is a good place for dishes to fall to pieces. Anyway it is kinda good 'cause that one was not as lovely as those two, and I did not have to struggle deciding whether to take a photo of that one as well, and I would not had to painfully turn it down.

                                                                 koks
                                                                 ^^^^^
                                                                 tree