Showing posts with label jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jokes. Show all posts

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Kur paliek pazudušie joki? /// Where do the lost jokes go?

Vai ir kaut kas lieliskāks par jokiem? Varbūt ir.
Vai daudz kas ir lieliskāks par jokiem? Nē.

Lāsma, mana izcilā māsa, bija tikko pateikusi kādu mazu, neuzkrītošu joku, kuru droši vien būtu iespējams arī nepateikt, man viņš ļoti patika, īsi un ļoti, nekas tajā brīdī nebija labāks par to joku, un tad viņa vairs nebija, un man kļuva skumīgi par visiem tiem jokiem, kas uz mirklīti uzšvirkst un tad pazūd. Kur viņi visi paliek, izbijušie joki? Viņi taču rodas atkal un atkal, visu laiku, un pazūd un zūd, un nevar viņus paturēt prātā.

Man nekad nebija pienākusi sajūta par joku pārejošuma skumīgumu. Kur visi mazie jociņi dodas, kad ir izteikti un uztverti? Viņus neviens ar sedziņām neapsedz un nesamīļo. Un vispār jau izšķerdīgi, tik izcili joki aiziet nesasniedzamībā, atstāstīt grūti un nav gluži tas, trūkst elementu, kuru ietekmē viņi radās.

Man reizēm gribētos, lai visi zinātu, kādu lielisku jokus kāds ir pateicis, tajos brīžos, kad man gribas dalīties. Dažreiz es arī mēģinu, un reizēm sanāk vāra smieklīguma atblāzma, ja pareizi uzsveru vajadzīgās vietas, taču ne tik ļoti smieklīgi kā bijis, un citreiz sanāk pavisam tizli. Kad man negribas dalīties un es turu jociņu pie sevis, viss ir ļoti labi, vienīgi ārkārtīgi ierobežots daudzums joku, ko var paturēt pienācīgā atmiņā.

Protams, nav jāsaka joki visur un ar visiem. Ne visas vietas ir attiecīgas noskaņas rosinošas. Man šķiet, ka neviens cits nezina, cik mana Lāsma prot lieliski jokoties, jo visu labāko viņa pietaupa man. Es vienkārši gribu pateikt, ka, ja neveidojas jokus ģenerējoša atmosfēra un nav joku indikatora, tad jociņu nebūs, un ļoti iespējams, ka ne tāpēc, ka otram netīk smieklīgas lietas. Piedāvāju dažus izskaidrojumus, kāpēc tad tā:
1) jūs neesat pietiekami labi pazīstami,
2) otrs ir introverts un nedāļājas pa pasauli ar saviem izcilākajiem sasniegumiem jokzinībās,
3) jums nav un visticamāk nekad nebūs joku konekšens,
4) tu vai kāds cits ir gaisotnes maitātājs,
5) tu esi galīgi dumjš un otram negribas jokot,
6) tu neesi īsti gudrs un neuztvēri smalkas asprātības.
Un vispār jau žēl, ka es nekad neuzzināšu, cik kādam labi joki tikai tāpēc, ka slikti iedarbojos uz viņa joku produkciju. Lai gan, ne tik žēl kā par joku zūdamības likumu.

Joki ir ekskluzīvi, gaistoši un neatgriezeniski. It kā pa īstam, it kā ne, jokos nevar samelot, no jokiem taču negaida patiesību. Viņi ir tāpat vien, bet var izrādīties, ka ne gluži, šī jaukā nenoteiktība. Man jau arī vienmēr patīk, ja mani izklaidē, un joki ļoti labi izklaidē, tas ir inteliģenti un priecīgi, visiem taču patīk būt izklaidētiem un sabiedrībā ar labu noskaņojumu.

Un es domāju, ka cilvēki, kuri saka jokus, ir gudri un tādiem var uzticēties. Asprātībām taču nepieciešams ass prāts, hoho, un neuzkrītoša novērtēt un uztvert prasme, žigla reakcija, atmosfēras un savstarpējo attiecību izjūta, laba gaume, un arī laba atmiņa jokošanai diez vai ir nodarījusi kaitējumu. Vārdu sakot, cilvēki, kuri saka labus jokus, saprot lietas. Sasmīdināt nav gluži vienkāršākais darbiņš pasaulē, nav arī gluži sirds transplantācija, taču dzīvīguma uzturēšanai visai esenciāli. Pat, ja visi joki nav labi, ja joku kopiespaids un to lielais vairums ir forši, daži kritieni ir jāpiedod. Es mēdzu uzskatīt, ka labāk būt lielā mērā foršam un mazā mērā neforšam nekā nekādā mērā foršam un nekādā mērā neforšam. Labāk izteiksmīgais komplektiņš, vai ne. Var jau arī gadīties, ka es kāda joka lieliskumu nespēju aptvert vai nu savas nesaprātības dēļ, vai arī nespējas distancēties no personiskās iesaistības dēļ. Man liekas, tik daudzi joki būtu vienkārši dievīgi, ja vien nebūtu vērsti pret mani, bet, kad mazliet padomā, tie tik un tā ir labi joki, un cilvēki ar labiem jokiem arī parasti ir labi, un vispār, tie, kas pārāk daudz pret mani vērš jokus, man mēdz būt ļoti mīļi. Un ļoti bieži tie, kuri mani gluži vai izaicina uz jokiem par sevi, man ir ļoti mīļi. Iespējams, otrs variants, ja viņi nav mīļi, tad viņi ir kaitinoši, un ironija novada tracināšanas potenciālu.

Mēs ar Katrīnu reiz runājām, ka tas ir ārkārtīgi aizdomīgi, ja kāds cilvēks nemaz nejokojas, tādiem nevar īsti uzticēties. Jābūt taču spējīgam uz vissīkāko jociņu kādā izmeklētā sabiedrībā, uz tik sīku, ka to var nepamanīt, taču jokotiesspēja, tas ir svarīgi, jā. Ironiskiem cilvēkiem galējos gadījumos var pārmest tikai robežu izjūtas trūkumu vai neiejūtību, bet pamatā jau spēja ironizēt liecina par cilvēka spējām, un diemžēl katra jūtas ir viņa paša darīšana un lauciņš, ar ko tikt galā.

Tas droši vien ir saistīts ar mirstīgumu, joku gaistošums atgādina par nāvi, vai ne, vai ne. Kas tik neatgādina par nāvi, ja tā padomā un arī, ja nepadomā. Tāpēc jokot ir drosmīgi, dzīvelīgi un derīgi, un visiem nāk par labu. Pieļauju, ka civilizācija var būt dzīvotspējīga ar pārliecību par pēcnāves eksistences neesamību, bet bez smieklīgā un jokainā, nu nē, nu nē. Tā nevar. Tā ir viena no retajām lietām, kas skaistuma trūkumu apkārtnē padara mazāk nomācošu.

Un varbūt tomēr ir kāda vieta, kur pulcējas un drūzmējas visi pateiktie, novērtētie, nenovērtētie un noklusētie joki, un tādā vietā cilvēkam būtu grūti, jo būtu pārāk daudz jāsmejas, jābūt viegli aizkaitinātam par muļķīgiem joķeļiem, un vēl citus nesanāktu saprast vispār, taču visticamāk, tādas vietas nav, un lielākā daļu joku,  ironisku piezīmju, apslāpētu smīniņu un zīmīgu saskatīšanos pagaist un nenokļūst nekur. Un vienīgais mierinājums, ka jokošana ir pietiekami mūžīgs mehānisms.



^^^^^

Is there anything greater than jokes? Possibly yes.
Are there many things greater than jokes? Nope.

Lasma, the splendid sister of mine, had just uttered a tiny, subtle joke, which might had stayed unsaid, and I liked it so much, briefly and very. At that moment there was nothing better than this joke, and when it was over, I got sad about all those jokes that gleam lightly for a moment and then get lost for good. Where do they all go, the former jokes? They appear anew all the time, they vanish and disappear, and they don't really stay well on the mind.

Never before the sadness of the passing of jokes had occurred to me. Where do all those tiny jokes end up, once they are expressed and perceived? No one tucks them up in bed, no one wishes them goodnight. Actually, it is such a waste to let brilliant jokes leave for good, all alone and unattainable. It is difficult to retell them and it is never the time, cause the elements that made them arise are missing.

Sometimes I wish everyone got to know some  excellent joke that someone has told me; a situation like this may occur to me during the moments when I'm willing to share. Occasionally I do try to retell a joke, and now and then some reflection of 'funny' can be spotted, if I manage to press on the vital points. Still, it is never as funny as it once was, and there are times when the retold joke comes out clumsy and useless. When I don't want to share and I keep the joke to myself, everything works quite fine. The only thing is, the amount of jokes I can keep in my mind properly, is quite limited.

Of course, jokes don't have to be told everywhere and with everyone. Not all places are joke-friendly, not all of them favor the birth of the funny. I suspect that people rarely realize Lasma's joking abilities, since she saves the very best of it for me. What am I trying to say is, if the atmosphere does not support sallies, nor is there a joke indicator, there won't be any jokes. The creation of a joke is unlikely not because the person you are talking to doesn't  appreciate funny things.  I propose several reasons why someone might not joke in the presence of yours:
1) you are not familiar enough,
2) the other one is introvert and doesn't scatter all over the world all his highest achievements in joke studies,
3) you haven't got, and never will, the joke connection,
4) you or someone else spoils the atmosphere,
5) you are quite dumb, so the other one has no desire to joke in your presence,
6) you are not smart enough to catch subtle wit.
Actually it's a pity that I'd never know how great someone's jokes are just because I affect badly their production of jokes. Not as pity as the law of the destruction of joke, though.

Jokes are exclusive, transitory and irreversible. They are a bit true, a bit untrue, one cannot lie when joking, no one expects truth, or seriousness. Well, at least one shouldn't. They are just so, but it can turn out, that they are not entirely just so - the pleasant vagueness. I always like to be entertained, and jokes do that very well. It's intelligent and fun, everyone likes to be well entertained in the company of good mood.

I also think that the persons who joke are intelligent and reliable. Wit calls for an acute mind, doesn't it, as well as for subtle abilities to perceive and evaluate, quick reaction, sense of the atmosphere and interconnections, good taste, and so far good memory has not done any harm either. Shortly, people who tell good joke understand things. To make someone laugh is not the easiest task in the world, nor is it a heart transplantation, still, in order to keep up the liveliness, laughing is quite essential. Even if not all of the jokes are good, those few falls should be forgiven, if the majority of jokes and their overall appearance smells fine. I tend to think that it is better to be a lot nice and a little nasty than to be not nice at all and not nasty at all. Always choose the set with more qualities, right. I keep in mind that I might be unable to get the greatness of a joke due to my lack of sagacity or due to being too much personally involved in it. I guess so many jokes would seem brilliant if they weren't pointed at me. But when I think for a little while, I have to admit that they still are good jokes, and people who tell good jokes usually are good people. Also, the ones who make fun of me tend to be very dear to me, and conversely, the ones that I can't resist to make fun of are very dear to me too. Unless instead of being dear they are irksome, and can do nothing but use some irony to prevent madness.

Once we talked about it with Katrina, that it is highly suspicious when someone doesn't joke at all. You can't trust people like that. One has to be capable at least of the weeniest joke in a carefully selected society. It can be so weeny, that nothing might be easier than missing it out, yet the joking ability does matter, indeed. In extreme cases ironical people can be only reproached for their lack of the sense of boundaries or for their insensitivity, although fundamentally irony proves the abilities of a person. Also, unfortunately, one's  feelings is everyone's own business and one has to cope with them by himself.

It's probably linked with mortality, the passing character of jokes reminds of death, doesn't it. Is there really anything that doesn't remind of death, if I come to think of it and also if I don't come to think of it. Therefore it is brave, lively and useful to joke, it is good for everyone's health and well-being. I suppose a civilization may be viable even if it had adopted belief in the non-existence of afterlife, but without the funny, it would be oh so impossible. The funny and comical is one of the few things that almost make up for the shortage of beauty in near surroundings, and make it less unbearable.

For all that, there still might be a place, where all the said, appraised, understated and unsaid jokes gather and crowd. It would be hard for a person in such a place with too frequent laughing, light irritation about silly sallies, loads of jokes, that one is not even able to get. The most likely though, there is no such place at all, and the vast majority of jokes, ironic comments, choked grins and meaningful exchanging of looks vanish and get nowhere. The only comfort we are given is the fact that joking is mechanism eternal enough.



Saturday, August 25, 2012

Būt vai nebūt /// To be or not to be

Mamma nekad nestāsta anekdotes un jokus, viņa reizēm var mazliet pasmaidīt, kad citi stāsta, bet pati viņa nekad. Parasti mamma vienkārši saka lietas, kuras ir smieklīgas, par kurām var jauki paķiķināt. Šovakar viņa bija atbraukusi no igaunijas dabas takām, un viņa mums ar Lāsmu stāstīja anekdoti par igauņiem. Bija tiešām smieklīgi, man patika.

Bija igauņu operdziedātājs, kurš dziedāja slaveno igauņu operu "Hamlets", acīmredzot bija titullomā. Igaunijā viņam labi veicās, viņš visiem patika, un operdziedātājs nolēma, ka jāpaplašina apvāršņi un jātaisa karjera ārzemēs. Dziedonis atbrauca uz Rīgu, dziedāja "Hamletu" latviski, taču viņa Latvijas karjera beidzās brīdī, kad "būt vai nebūt vietā" viņš dziedāja "pūt vai nepūt". Izslavētās igauņu problēmas ar balsīgajiem līdzskaņiem laikam savu slavu godam pelnījušas.
Aizbrauca meklēt karjeras spožo saulīti uz citu kaimiņzemi, Krieviju. Dziedāja krieviski, tikai "быть или не быть" diemžēl izklausījās pēc "пить или не пить" [krievu val. - dzert vai nedzert], un smieklīgi traģēdijā nav labi, tāpēc arī Krievijas zvaignīte nokrita.
Beigās uz Angliju aizbrauca "Hamletu" dziedāt, bet viņš bija igaunis, un visiem, izņemot igauņus, ir tieksme esamības izteiksmi pārpludināt ar "b" burtiem, un "to be or not to be" diemžēl, diemžēl klausītāju ausīs ieplūda kā "to pee or not to pee" [angļu val. - čurāt vai nečurāt]. Anglijā arī nekas nesanāca, tad igauņu operdziedātājs brauca atpakaļ uz Igauniju, dziedāja, un tur viņam gāja ļoti labi un viss sanāca, un neviens neiedomājās, ka viņš neprot lietot b burtus.

Tad mēs parunājām par to, ka Losandželosa ir Eņģeļi, un ka, lai cik apburošs tāds vārds pilsētai nebūtu, tas tomēr skan pēc Latvijas lauku miesta. Es te uz Eņģeļiem pēc zivtiņām aizbraukšu. Stopiņu pagastā, Eņģeļos, dzīves 77. gadskārtu svin Jēkabs Apšuciems.
Tajā pašā brīdī iztēlojos apmēram 30gadīgas sievietes siluetu gaiši pelēkā sporta tērpā, tajā mīkstajā, kas reizēm tiek lietoti kā mājas tērpi; viņai mati bija astē un gaiši brūni, un mana uzmanība bija vērsta uz jakas līnijām. Līnijas, es domāju, zeltainas līnijas iet gar jaku. It kā vakara gaisma, it kā gaisma no muguras (to sauc par kontru, kādu laiciņu es to zinu).


^^^^^
Mum never telles any jokes, she might smile a bit when someone else tells them, still she never tells jokes herself. Usuallly mum just tells funny things, that we can nicely laugh about. We do like to make fun of certain things she tells. Tonight she had arrived from Estonia, where she was walking some nature paths, and she told me and Lasma a joke about Estonians, it was a funny one, I liked it.

There was an Estonian opera singer, whose top number was the famous Estonian opera Hamlet", he obviously was in the title-role. He had success in Estonia, everyone liked him, and he decided to widen his horizons and make career abroad. The singer went to Riga, his neighbour country Latvia, he song "Hamlet" in Latvian, though his career in Latvia ended at the moment when he sang "pūt vai nepūt" ["pūt vai nepūt - from latvian ''blow or don't blow", or "to rot or not to rot", when it was supposed to be "būt vai nebūt" - in Latvian "to be or not to be"]. The well-known Estonian inability to pronounce voiced consonants seems to be fairly well grounded.
He went to look for his career's shining moments to another neighbour land, Russia. He sang in Russian, however unfortunately the well meant words "быть или не быть " ["to be or not to be" - in Russian] sounded a lot like "пить или не пить" ["to drink or not to drink" - in Russian], and funny is no good in tragedies, so his Russian star fell as well.
In the end he left for singing "Hamlet" in England. But he was Estonian, and everyone except Estonians have the urge to fill the word which expresses existence with letter "b". Unluckily for him, what the singer uttered as "to be or not to be" reached the audience's ears as "to pee or not to pee". As he neither succeed in Russian, Latvia, nor did he in England, he had nothing left to do but return to Estonia. And he had great success there, and not even one thought could cross anyone's mind that the singer might be unable to pronounce "b".

Then we discussed a bit that fact that Los Angelos is angels and, no matter how charming such name could be for a city, the name still resembles a town in Latvian countryside. I'll take a quick drive to Angels [Eņģeļi  - Latvian] to pick up some fishes.
At the same moment I imagined the silhouette of 30 years old woman wearing light grey loungewear, you know, the soft one which one uses as homewear; her hair was in ponytail and lightly brown, and I concentrated on the lines of the jersey.  The lines, I thought, golden lines go along the jersey. Somewhat evening light, somewhat lightning from the back (it's called contra light, I know it for some time now).

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Joki par blondīnēm /// Blonde jokes

Mamma manam dvīnim teica, ka es esot kļuvusi itin blonda un lokaina. Mans personīgais dvīnis man to pavēstīja, kad es biju pastāstījusi joku par blondīnēm. Divas blondīnes apspriežas par kvantu fiziku. Tad viena saka otrai: "Re kur nāk veči! Sākam runāt par drēbēm un kosmētiku!"
Ja mani mati patiešām ir drusku pabalojuši, to varēs pamanīt, kad es sākšu izlikties, ka drēbītes mani interesē daudz vairāk par kvantu mehāniku, metafiziku un zinātnes filozofiju.
Es atceros vēl divus jokus par blondīnēm.
Kā sauc blondīni ar smadzenēm? - Retrīvers. (Džeikobs no Krēslas šito stāstīja Rozālijai no Krēslas, jo viņa bija blonda un viņam viņa pārāk nepatika.) Tā, protams, nav.
Otrs. Ja blondīne ieslēdz labo pagrieziena rādītāju, tas nenozīmē, ka viņa brauks pa kreisi; viņa var braukt arī taisni. Šis diemžēl ir diezgan patiess, un attiecas ne tikai uz blondīnēm, uz rudmatēm un brunetēm arī.

P.S. Runājot par mašīnām, sākot braukt ar mašīnu, jums nelikās, paskatoties priekšējā spogulītī uz aizmugurē esošo mašīnu, ka tā ir britu mašīna ar labajā pusē sēdošu vadītāju? Un visa pilsēta pēkšņi pārbāzta ar britu vāģīšiem.

^^^^^
Mom told my very own twin that I have become quite blonde and curly. My personal twin told it me when I had told her a joke about blondes. Two blondes are discussing Quantum physics. Then one of them tells to the other: "Guys are coming! We have to switch to clothes and make-up!"
If my hair has bleached out a bit indeed, you will notice it when I will start to pretend that dresses interest me way more than Quantum mechanics, Metaphysics and Philosophy of Science.
I remember two more blonde jokes.
How do you call a blonde with brain? - A retriever. (Jacob from Twilight told this to Rosalie from Twilight, since she was blonde and he didn't really like her that much.) But this is not true, of course.
If a blonde has switched on the right winking light, it doesn't mean she will turn left; she can drive straight as well. This unfortunately is true, and refers not only to blondes, to redheads and brunettes too.

P.S. Talking about cars, when you started to drive a car, and looked in the front mirror to have a look on the car just behind you, didn't you think it's Brittish car with driver sitting on the right? And all the town was suddenly crowded with Brittish cars.