Sākt ar mazumiņu katolisku jūtu /// Step by step with catholic sentiments

Kā jau ar neticīgajiem tas parasti mēdz būt, arī mani viegli aizrauj katolicisms. Ja es gribētu ļaut kādai reliģijai un konfesijai sevi savaldzināt, es gribētu, lai tas ir katolicisms. Līdzās pastāvīgajai jūtu ekspozīcijai, kurā reizēm mans skatiens vēršas pret Dienvideiropas katoļu sievietēm, altārzēniem un latīniski deklamējošiem priesteriem un viņu uzmanībai pret krāsu izvēli, manas māsas brauciens uz Poliju bija īsts pienesums manu katolisko sapņu ziņā. Tas ir neticami, cik dzīvīga nodarbe tur ir katoļticība. Lāsma stāstīja, ka lietoto apģērbu veikalos par 7 zlotiem tur varot iegādāties altērzēna tērpu (dažiem noteikti noder), uz ielas cilvēki redzēti līksmojam pie krusta, un, kad viena Klāva kursabiedrene kā otras studentes raudāšanas iemeslu izdibināja gredzena pazaudēšanu, abas divas metās ceļos un lūdzās Svēto Antoniju, pazudušo lietu aizgādni. Piezīmēšu, ka arī pavasaris vroclaviešiem ieradies agrāk - es domāju, ka poļi labi lūgušies par pavasara atnākšanu, un Dieviņš devis pavasari.

Kas noticis? Kāpēc tu raudi?

Es pazaudēju gredzenu, šņuk šņuk šņuk!

Lūgsimies Svēto Antoniju!

Svētais Antonij, pazudušo lietu aizbildni, palīdzi atrast gredzenu!

Klāvs skatās uz savām katoliskajām poļu kursabiedrenēm.

Lāsmas Polijas brauciens mani iedvesmojis gandrīz tā, it kā es pati būtu tur paviesojusies. Pēkšņi gribas skatīties uz Jāņa Pāvila II attēliem un katoļu garīdznieku ordinācijas ceremoniju bildes. Romas katolicisms ir tik krāšņs, pašapmierināts un pašpārliecināts, garu tradīciju un droši vien tikpat garas 'melnās dzīves' pilns, un tas ir kaut kas tik ļoti rietumniecisks, tik ļoti Vakareiropeisks. Tas ir tā kā jūgendstils vai itāļu dārzi, skaisti izskatās un raisa virspusēju patiku. Un tas bija pat vēl pirms es saņēmu absolūti brīnišķīgās un trakās dzimšanas dienas dāvanas no Vroclavas - slāviski neminimālistisku apsveikuma kartiņu ar pufīgu Jēzus uzlīmi otrā pusē, marcipāna Dieva jēru (es kā aprīlī piedzimusī arī esmu Auns, vai arī Aita, vai Jēriņš), bagātīgi dzeltenu Lieldienu olas formas cepumu ar Dieva jēra trīsdimensionālu rotu un aizgrābjošu polisku baltu lakatiņu ar košu puķu rakstu. Lāsmu arī pastiprināti kustina kristiāniskās tēmas, un, saprotams, viņu uzrunāja Vroclavas muzeja viduslaiku un renesanses Jēzu skulptūras un džeka ar mazu bērnu skulptūra - Jēzus ar Marijas dvēseli.

Bet būtībā mana ikdiena ir ārkārtīgi laiciska un nereliģioza. Diezgan bieži redzu baznīcas, šad tad kādā arī ieeju, svinu galvenos reliģiskos svētkus nereliģiozā manierē. Kaut kad es sapratu, ka es taču pat negrēkoju, jo nereliģioziem cilvēkiem grēki nepiemīt.

Taču tā es domāju līdz trešdienai.

Pirms pāris dienām manā jaunajā darbā Maruta, stāstīdama par manu darba tērpu, teica, ka rotaslietas es varu arī no mājām paņemt, ja man kaut kas piemērots ir. "Man diez vai būs kaut kas no jūgenda," es reālistiski atbildēju. "Ai, var jau arī ne no jūgenda laika, mēs jau te visas grēkojam."

Tajā brīdī man taisni vai uzzibsnīja atskārsme - pavisam drīz es sākšu grēkot! Uzturēšos autentiskā izskatā atjaunotajā interjerā ar izrotātu un milzīgu cepuri galvā, kuras uzdevums būs apmeklētājiem aizmālēt acis, lai es varētu grēcīgi izrotāties ar 20.gs. krietni vien vēlos gados tapušu piespraudi un valkāt caurspīdīgu staipīgas mežģīnes blūzi ar augstu apkakli.

Šis darbs man liks kļūt par grēcinieci. Un tad es domāju, varbūt tas ir pirmais solis uz kristietību? Sāc ar grēku, turpini ar grēku nožēlošanu.Viena no manām mazajām, ne pārāk stiprajām vēlmēm ir kādreiz aiziet pie priestera un caur restītēm nožēlot grēkus. Tad es justos kā ļoti kulturāla meitene, sastapusies ar ilgo un lēni gaistošo katolisma elpu. Bet tad jau drīzāk man piederēs smaragdu kaklarota, nekā es aiziešu pie katoļu priestera uz grēksūdzi, ja domājam reālistiski.

Elīna: Lai slavēts Jēzus Kristus!
Priesteris: Mūžīgi mūžos. Āmen.
Elīna: Nāc, Svētais Gars, apgaismo manu prātu, lai es pazītu savus grēkus; modini manu gribu un sirdi, lai es par tiem patiesi nožēlotu un vaļsirdīgi tajos atzītos; dāvā man spēku, lai es tos labotu un par tiem gandarītu. Svētā Marij, grēcinieku patvērums, nāc man palīgā!
Priesteris: Dieva Tēva un Dēla, un Svētā Gara vārdā, Āmen.

Elīna:  Es esmu grēkojusi, Tēvs. Tēvs, es krāpos un autentiska gadsimtu mijas laika tērpa vietā valkāju jaunlaicīgas rotas.

Priesteris: Nav nekā tāda, ko Dievs nevarētu piedot. Vai ir vēl kas, par ko Dievam vēlies lūgt piedošanu?

Elīna: Jā. Arī mana blūze tikai maldina cilvēkus un nemaz nav no jūgendstila.

Priesteris: Dievs, žēlsirdīgais Tēvs, kas ar sava Dēla nāvi un augšāmcelšanos samierināji pasauli ar sevi un grēku piedošanai nosūtīji Svēto Garu, lai tev caur Baznīcas kalpojumu dāvā piedošanu un mieru. Un es tevi atbrīvoju no taviem grēkiem Dieva Tēva un Dēla, un Svētā Gara vārdā.
Elīna: Āmen.
Priesteris: Slavēsim Kungu, jo Viņš ir labs.
Elīna: Jo Viņa žēlsirdība pastāv mūžam.

Priesteris: Dievs tev ir piedevis grēkus. Ej mierā.
Elīna: Paldies, Tēvs!

Elīna: Es esmu grēkojusi, Tēvs. Autentiska gadsimtu mijas laika tērpa vietā es valkāju jaunlaicīgas rotas.

Priesteris: Dievs ir Visulabs, Viņš piedos visus mūsu grēkus.

Elīna: Arī blūze man nemaz nav no jūgendstila laikmeta.

Priesteris: Es tevi atbrīvoju no taviem grēkiem Dieva Tēva un Dēla, un Svētā Gara vārdā.

Priesteris: Ej mierā, mans bērns.

^^^^^

As it happens with nonbelievers often enough, I am lightly fascinated by Catholicism too. If I were to allow one religion and one Church to enchant me, I wish it would be Catholicism. Besides the permanent exhibition of sentiments, where my gaze follows the Southern European catholic women, altar boys and priests reciting Latin and paying attention to the choice of colour in their garments, my sister's trip to Poland was a splendid contribution to my catholic dreams. It is unbelievable how lively Catholicism is in Poland. Lasma told me that for 7 Zloty in second hand shop one could buy a costume for altar boy (I'm positive someone might find it useful), merry people were seen rejoicing on the streets next to a cross. Also, when one of Klavs' new classmates was crying, and another one got to learn it was because of a lost ring, they both got on their knees and prayed Saint Anthony, the patron saint of lost items. I should remark that for Vratislavians the spring has come way earlier - I suppose God gave the Polish spring due to their diligent prayers.

What happened? Why are you crying?

I lost my ring, sob sob sob!

Let's pray Saint Anthony!

Saint Anthony, patron of all things lost, please let us find the lost ring!

Klavs looks at his Polish Catholic classmates.

Lasma's trip to Poland has inspired me almost as if I went there myself. All of a sudden I am tempted to look at pictures of John Paul II and the Catholic clergy ordination ceremony. The Roman Catholicism is so splendid, smug and self-confident, full of long traditions and most likely full of hidden underground life too; it is something very Western, very Western Europe. It is like Art Nouveau or Italian gardens; it does look beautiful and invokes superficial liking. And it was so even before I got the completely wonderful and impressive Birthday gifts from Wroclaw - a Slavic non-minimalistic floral card with a puffy Jesus sticker on the back, a marzipan Lamb of God (born in April, I am a Ram, Sheep or Lamb too), a generously yellow-glazed Easter cookie with yet another decor of Lamb of God and a Polishly thrilling white scarf with bright florals. Lasma has a strong liking towards the Christian themes, so it is only natural she enjoyed the Middle Age and Renaissance period sculptures of Jesuses in the local museum. Also the guy with a tiny child in his hands, who turned out to be Jesus with Mary's soul.

For all that, my life and everyday is very secular and irreligious. I see churches quite often, now and then I go inside one, I celebrate the main religious festivities in irreligious fashion. At some point I realised I didn't even sin, since nonbelievers cannot have sins.
But that is what I thought til Wednesday.

A couple of days ago at my brand-new work Maruta, when clarifying me my work outfit, said that regarding the adornments, I can bring my own, in case I have something suitable. "I don't think I have something from Art Nouveau," I realistically answered. "Oh, it doesn't have to be exactly from Art Nouveau, we all sin here in this matter."

At that moment almost an illumination occurred to me - I am to start sinning very soon! I will be walking the rooms of authentically renovated interior with a huge and decorated hat on, whose task will be to trick the eyes of visitors, letting me sinfully adore myself with trinkets produced well in the 2nd half of the 20th century and wear a see-through stretchy lace high-neck blouse.

This job will make me a sinner. Then I thought, might this be the first step to Christianity? Start with a sin, keep on with penance. One of my tiny, not overly strong wishes is at some point of time to visit a priest and confess, hearing his serene voice through the grate. Then I would feel as a very cultural girl, facing the lengthy and slowly vanishing breath of Catholicism. But then, of course, I would rather own an emerald necklace sometime in a distant future than go to a Catholic priest to confess, if we judge in a realistic manner.

Elina: Come Holy Spirit into my soul. Enlighten my mind that I may know the sins I ought to confess, and grant me your grace to confess them fully, humbly, and with a contrite heart. Help me to firmly resolve not to commit them again. O Blessed Virgin Mary, Mother of my God, intercede for me through the Passion of your Son, that I may obtain the grace to make a good confession. All you blessed Archangels, Angels and Saints of God, pray for me, a sinner, that I may repent from my sins, and that my heart may be forever united with yours in eternal love. Amen.
Priest: In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Elina: Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. Father, I was cheating and instead of an authentic attire from Fin de siècle I sported too recently made trinkets.

Priest: There is no such thing that God could not forgive as. Is there anything else you wish to confess?
Elina: Yes, there is. My blouse does nothing but mislead people and it is not from Art Nouveau either.
Priest: God, the Father of mercies, through the death and resurrection of his Son has reconciled the world to himself and sent the Holy Spirit among us for the forgiveness of sins; through the ministry of the Church, may God give you pardon and peace, and I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.

Elina: Amen.

Priest: May the Passion of our Lord Jesus Christ, the intercession of the Blessed Virgin Mary and of all the saints, whatever good you do and suffering you endure, heal your sins, help you to grow in holiness, and reward you with eternal life. Go in peace.

Elina: Thank you, Father!

Elina: Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I was wearing recently produced jewellery instead of Art Nouveau style jewellery.

Priest:  God is omnibenevolent, He will forgive us all our sins.

Elina: My blouse does not come from Art Nouveau either.

Priest: I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.

Priest: Go in peace, my child.

Šīs dienas tēma: Jēzus Tevi ienīst /// Today's Topic: Jesus Hates You

Man tik ļoti patika pavadīt bērnu uz baznīcas kori. Tā bija pirmā diena, kad es Lauru pieskatīju, un mēs ar riteņiem braucām pa ceļu, pa kuru es vēl nebiju braukusi. Tas ir brīnumdaiļš ceļš, zaļas lapiņas ielenc no abām pusēm un mainās, un braucot pārsvarā ir jādomā par to, ka vai, vai, vai, cik skaisti. Saule nepārblieza krāsas bālas, tradicionālā izpratnē saules nebija. (Protams, ja es būtu piecgadīgs bērnudārznieks, kurš nesen kā uzzinājis, ka vienmēr, kad ir diena, Saule ir uzlēkusi, es tā vis neteiktu. Kad mums bērnudārzā bija mūzikas nodarbības, mēs iedziedāšanos sākām ar dziesmiņu "Šodien ārā saulains laiks," vai "Šodien ārā mākoņains." Un kad bariņš vecāko bērnudārznieku apjauta Saules klātbūtni jebkurā mākoņainā dienā, mēs vienmēr dziedājām tikai par saulaino laiku.)
Man bija pusnakts zila kokvilnas kleita un košāk zils mētelis, ļoti piemērotas drēbes, lai dotos uz baznīcu, manuprāt. Ja apkaimē Jēzus ir aktuāls, var pilnīgi mierīgi vilkt kleitu vai svārkus, braucot ar riteni, jo par svārku plīvošanas piedienību taču būtu jāparūpējas Jēzum.

Es biju patīkami iepriecināta par Hailigenhāfenas kristietisko raksturu. Tā jau vāciešiem laikam ir, taču tas piemirstas un ir īsts svaigumiņš. Vēl svarīgāk par Jēzu Hailigenhāfenā ir burāšana un visi maritīmie aspekti, un tāpēc  kristietības un kuģniecības sadarbība šķita īpaši mīlīga. Baznīcā saprot, ka kuģi ir hailigenhāfeniešiem ir sirdij tuvāki par Jēzu, tāpēc stiepj viņus tik iekšā baznīcā. Šur tur randomā pilsētiņā bija pāris krusti, un savukārt baznīcā no griestiem karājās vairāki kuģu modeļi, kas maskējās par svečturiem izmēra un smalkuma ziņā. Tas bija tā ļoti uhh, man patika, tiešām ļoti mīļi. Būtībā esmu arī par saprātīgu eklektiku, kad saliek kopā visu, kas patīk, un kāpēc gan ne burinieki un krusti.

Mēs ar Lauru braucām pa baznīcas pakalnu, tobrīd notika kāzas, mēs izbraucām cauri kāzu viesu grupiņām. Zvanīja baznīcas zvans, vīrietis ar cilindru galvā gaidīja pie mašīnas durvīm, cilvēku skatieni uzmanīja baznīcas durvis. Braucot gar baznīcas sānu sienu, zvani turpināja zvanīt un no otras puses uz manu pusi lidoja nedaudzi ziepju burbuļi. Es skatījos, kas ir viņu autors, taču nevienu neredzēju. Neuzķēros jau uzreiz uz dievišķu zīmi, burbuļiem, kas paši pūšas, taču reizēm ir tik patīkami, kad pūles nevainagojas panākumiem. Tajā brīdī es domāju, cik man ļoti patīk tas, kas man jādara, jāpavada bērns uz baznīcas kori, un patīkamu lietu vienlaicīguma maģiskums, kurā es iebraucu un no kuras izbraucu, pirms tas vēl ir beidzies.


^^^^^

It was so adorable to take the kid to the church choir. It was the first day when I was looking after Laura, and we were riding bikes on a road which I hadn't seen before. It was a marvelous road, green leaves enclosing from both sides and changing as fast as I rode. While riding, the predominant thought was 'oh, oh, oh, all this is so beautiful". The sun didn't over-illuminate the colors to the paleness; there was no Sun in the traditional sense of 'Sun'. (Of course I wouldn't say this if I was a 5 years old kindergarten kid, who had recently got to know that actually the Sun was present whenever it was day, and not only during the sunny days. In kindergarten we were in a habit of beginning the singing practice with a rhyme - "It's sunny today" on the sunny days or "It's cloudy today" when it was dull outside. When the older kids had grasped the presence of Sun on every single morning, no matter the weather, we kept singing nothing but the "sunny" rhyme.)
I was wearing my midnight blue cotton dress and brighter blue summer coat - very suitable clothes to go to church, I think. If Jesus is trending nearby, one can sport dress or skirt while riding bike with no worries. One can be pretty sure Jesus would take care of the decency of one's skirt's fluttering.
I was pleasantly surprised  about the Christian characteristics of Heiligenhafen. I suppose it is nothing outstanding among Germans, still for me it was something quite forgotten and therefore fresh. For all that, sailing and all the maritime aspects count among the very highest ones, so the collaboration between Christianity and sailing is such a sweet one. In the church they understand, that ships are closer to the hearts of Heiligenhafen inhabitants, and that's why they bring them into the church. Here and there in the village some random crosses can be found, whereas several ship models can be seen hanging from the ceiling and disguising themselves as chandeliers, due to their size and delicacy. That was something impressive, very sweet indeed. Fundamentally I am in favour of reasonable eclectism, putting together everything one likes. And why shouldn't it be ships and crosses.

Laura and I were riding on the church hill, and at that time a wedding took place there, and we passed the groups of wedding guests. The church bells were ringing, a man with top hat waiting at a decorated car, guests keeping an alert eye on the church door. While riding along the church, the bells kept ringing, and from the other side a few soap bubbles were approaching me. I looked for their author, but couldn't find anyone. I wasn't so naive to buy immediately that this was some divide providence - the bubbles, that blow themselves -, still occasionally it feels really nice, when the efforts do not result in any success. At that moment I was thinking, how very much I enjoyed what I had to do, to take a kid to church choir, and the magic of simultaneity of pleasant things. I got into it and got out of it before it all had ended.

Wo sie auch ruhen im Meer und Land /// Kur viņi dus gan jūrā, gan zemē /// Where they rest in see and land

/ Sie sind gefallen in Gottes Hand /// Viņi ir iekrituši Dieva rokā /// They have fallen into God's hand

Baznīca, kurā kuģu modeļi karājas pie griestiem tikpat bezrūpīgi kā lampas. /// A church where ship models hang in an equally nonchalant manner as chandeliers

Little Lord Jesus

Es piemērotā apģērbā pie baznīcas. /// Me dressed suitably for the church.

Pie Jēzus lielā galda - kora notis un pleimobiļa cilvēciņi. /// At the huge table of Jesus - Choir sheet music and Playmobil people

Ētika 3a /// Ethics for 3a

Izkrāso Ābramu un Sāru! (Ētikas burtnīca) /// Paint Abraham and Sarah! (Exploring Ethics' notes)

Jāzepam vienreiz bija sapnis. /// Once Joseph had a dream.

Jāzeps izpalīdz faraonam. /// Joseph helps out the Pharaoh.

Izmirstošie dzīvnieki, pret kuriem jāizturas ar žēlastību. /// Endangered species that deserve mercy.

Trusis un, hm, tārps? /// A rabbit and, well, a worm, I guess.

"Jēzus sirds!" Apgaismotā Jēzus sirds! Nevis "parastā sirds, bič." /// "Heart of Jesus!" The illuminated heart of Jesus! Not any "ordinary heart, bitch."

Es pēdējā laikā esmu daudz laika pavadījusi televizora tuvumā. Piedevās apkopoju neaizmirstamākās frāzes, kuras es, saprotams, būtu aizmirsusi, ja nebūtu pierakstījusi, un par dažu precizitāti man joprojām ir šaubas, taču es izvēlos izlikties, it kā tas uz mani neattiektos. Citāti avoti gluži precīzi attēlo pārraižu spektru, kuru ietekmes laukā esmu atradusies. (Izņemot dažas multenes un muļķīgu ārstu seriālu, kurā nebija nekā citējama.)

Kobra, viens no Semīriem francūzim: "Izņem no mutes varžu kājiņas, tad runā ar mums."
Simpsoni: "Kādu dienu tu kādu slepkavu padarīsi ļoti laimīgu, taču tas nebūšu es."
Garfīlds, tikko izmetis Odiju ārā no mājām: "Reizēm kucēniem nepieciešama skarbāka mīlestība. Tas norūda raksturu."
Smalkais stils, Onslovs: "Cilvēks nevar but maizes pelnītājs un dzejnieks vienlaikus."
Smalkais stils, Hiacinte Ričardam: "Es raugos, lai tava dzīve plūstu kā rāma un mierīga upe, un tā tu man atmaksā."
Simpsoni: Šīs dienas tēma: "Jēzus Tevi ienīst."
Smalkais stils, Onslovs: "Es te sēžu pilnīgi nevienas alus pudeles ielenkumā!"
Simpsoni, Homērs: "Bārt, Bobs tagad ir ģimenes cilvēks. Tu nevari būt slikts cilvēks, ja tev ir ģimene."
Puaro, Puaro:  "Mazas dāvaniņas reizēm var būt tik satraucošas."
Puaro, kapteinis Heistingss: "Būt izskatīgai meitenei reizēm var būt grūti."
Puaro: "Jūs vienmēr iežēlojaties par jaunām, daiļām dāmām, bet es vienmēr izjūtu žēlumu pret vecām, slimām kundzēm."
Smalkais stils, Onslovs: "Es nesaprotu, ja mums ar pērtiķiem kopīgi ir 985 gēnu un cilvēka gēnu ir tikai 2%, kāpēc man no rīta gribas smēķi, nevis banānu."
Simpsoni:  "Paldies, ka izvēlējāties mani par savu slepkavu. Jūs sekosiet Sokrāta, Viržīnijas Vulfas, Ernesta Hemingveja, Hantera S. Tompsona un Freda Kanikī pēdās."
Simpsoni: "Sevi nogalināt nav tik viegli, kā uzvilkt neglītu džemperi - kā jūs to izdarījāt šorīt."


^^^^^

Recently I have spent quite some time near TV. As a side dish I'll be serving here a collection of the most unforgettable quotations, which, of course, I had easily forgot unless I didn't write them down. The accuracy of some of them is still questionable, but I've decided to pretend that this didn't concern me not to the least extent. The choice of quotations shows very well the range of broadcasts, that I have spent my time with the most. (Except for some cartoons and a silly doctor TV series, they didn't have anything quotable at all.)

Alarm for Cobra 11, one of the Semirs to a French man: "Take those frog legs out of your mouth, then talk to us."
Simpsons: "You know, you'll make some murderer very happy one day, but it shan't be me."
Garfield, having had just thrown out Odie out of the house: "Sometimes puppies need a little rougher love. It toughens personality."
Keeping Up Appearances, Onslow: "One can't be breadwinner and poet at the same time."
Keeping Up Appearances, Hyacinth to  Richard: "I"m trying to make your life flow as long, quiet river, and this is how you repay me."
Simpsons: "Today's Topic: Jesus Hates You."
Keeping Up Appearances, Onslow: "I'm sitting here surrounded by not a single bottle of beer!"
Simpsons, Homer: "Bart, Bob is a family man now. You can't be a bad person if you have a family."
Poirot: "Little gifts can be so upsetting."
Poirot, Captain Hastings: "A good-looking girl has a hard time of it."
Keeping Up Appearances, Onslow: "I don't understand, if we share 98% genes with primates like apes and have only 2% human genes, why in the morning I want to have a smoke and not a banana."
Poirot: "Ah, Hastings. Always you are full of charitable feelings to the young ladies, who are beautiful, huh? As for me, I am always full of the charitable feelings to the old ladies, that have maladies."
Simpsons: "I am so honored that you've chosen me to murder you.
You'll be following in the footsteps of Socrates, Virginia Woolf, Ernest Hemingway, Hunter S. Thompson and Fred Kanickee."
Simpsons: "Killing yourself isn't as easy as putting on an ugly sweater like you did today."